I noticed the other day that Quinn has been talking a lot about toast lately over on her blog. And that makes sense. She doesn’t have a food blog but she did just publish a book. Having used up all the good stuff and gray matter on the book, it has come to toast.
I happen to think that toast is a worthy topic and merits much more discussion than it gets, a higher place on the list of topics. Why talk about the economy and world events and the meaning of life and motherhood when we could be talking about the crunchy goodness that is toast?
I, for one, am a big fan of toast. I never get tired of toast and am happy to eat a piece any time of the day or night. So when someone says, “You’re toast!” I take that as a compliment. Toast is yummy, warm and everyone likes it.
But beware. Not all toast is created equal.
Croutons for example, are not toast. Yes they are bread and they are toasted, but they are uppity little bits of stale bread which delight in mocking you from your salad plate. Crouton is French for not toast not even close ha ha you fool.
Toast points — another example of “not really toast”. Probably also brought to you by the French whose idea of bread is my idea of a putter.
Crostini. Oh it’s toast alright. It’s yesterday’s toast. Put a few diced tomatoes on it, give it a fancy Italian name, call it an appetizer and charge $12.
And then there are those weird little packages of toast they sell in the fancy crackers department; I’ll blame the British for those. Toast is not named Melba and should never come to you wrapped in cellophane.
Now Texas toast – that is toast! What other state has its very own toast!? Cover it in butter and put it on a hot griddle till it’s good and brown and then flip it over and do it again. That there will cure a broken heart my friends. Well, it might take the whole loaf, but it works, trust me.
Quinn will be here on Monday to answer a few questions not related to toast and to give away an autographed copy of her fabulously funny new book Notes from the Underwire. So meet us back here then for a rollicking good time. Okay, there probably won’t be any rollicking.
This concludes my treatise on toast and possibly my imaginary blogging career.
Back to your regular programming.
Antique Mommy says:
Y’all, I have locked myself out of my Twitter account and now I am dead to Twitter. Twitter knoweth me not. So I can’t tweet my post and let the world know that I have once again written words, words waiting to be read by readers.
Would one of my Twitter friends mind tweeting the following for me, purdy pleeez?
Antique Mommy on Toast http://tinyurl.com/krhbff
July 17th, 2009 at 9:15 am
zoom says:
Oh, you are witty and clever, and made me chuckle this morning.
July 17th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Iota says:
In the UK, when you have given birth, you are served tea and toast. It is the BEST food you have ever tasted in your life.
When I was expecting, a friend said “when it gets really tough, just do the breathing and think of that tea and toast” – and that’s exactly what I did. It got me through. If they did a few scientific studies, they could probably prove that ‘tea-toast-thinking’ can lower the epidural rate in a hospital.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Karen {simply a musing blog} says:
Here’s a toast to toast! And I’ll tweet to that.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Dana~Are We There Yet? says:
Great post! Love toast!
Will be back for the rollicking because, really, the thing that is missing from my life is rollicking. And sherpas, but I don’t expect you to solve that.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
cattailmama says:
When my son was a baby and I returned to work, my mom kept him for me. Fortunately I was able to quit when he was 18 months old….anyway….
My mom would rock him for his nap and when he fell asleep, she’d just keep on rocking and holding him. And when he woke up still in her lap, she’d tell him she just couldn’t put him down….that he was warm as toast.
A memory that my children and I talk about and cherish 10 years later…
July 17th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Julie at Elisharose says:
I love toast. I have passed that love on to my daughter. Mmm.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Meg @ Spicy Magnolia says:
I’ve already had my breakfast today, but tomorrow, I will eat two pieces of toast smothered in butter and homemade fig preserves on your behalf. And since I’m in TX, we’ll just say it’s TX Toast!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
J says:
Would love to win a copy of that book!
The post reminded me of a high school writting class I has with Mrs A (Ablinger). Mine was on the different colored glasses we had at the table.
Loved the post! Toast is comfort food I just never realized it.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Kerri says:
Okay, so I’ve been away for a while. I can’t really say why, I just have. No reason, but OH how I’ve missed you! I was giggling this morning over toast! LOVED it! You, my dear, are gifted and should be the toast of the town!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Shelly W. says:
A toast post!! How clever!
Just Twittered for ya!
July 17th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Kelly @ Love Well says:
Oh my word. I love Quinn. She writes poignantly with a side of humor about everything — even toast. I will be back for the contest. (Not like I’m not here every day anyway. But it sounds cool, yes?)
I’m Tweeting your link right now.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Laurie says:
I love your ode to toast. Had me laughing right out loud! LROL?
July 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Red Pen Lady says:
Quinn is hysterically funny. For a good time, go to her archives and pull out anything, anything at all. If her book is anything like her blog, sign me up.
* * *
Very much like her blog, but pretty much all new stuff. Her stories are longer than what most people want to spend reading a blog post (which I think is like, 10 seconds) but yes, go take 15 minutes and treat yourself. ~AM
July 17th, 2009 at 11:37 am
MarathonMom says:
God Bless Mrs Baird for making Texas Toast!!
July 17th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
deb says:
And then there’s Milk Toast. For reasons unknown to me, it was always the first “solid food” served to us as kids following a vomitous era – warm toast, buttered & lightly salted, with warm milk poured on top. It never failed to make us feel better.
…or am I the only one with such oddly fond memories of such post-illness nuturing?
July 17th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
The Bug says:
Mmm – Texas toast! Might have to find some this weekend… And then there’s French Toast…
July 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Wendy says:
I made homemade bread on Wednesday and sliced it thick like Texas toast to serve with my lasagna..Yumm!!
The best way to eat any kind of toast? Slathered with butter and then with peanut butter!
July 17th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Janmary, N Ireland says:
Don’t blame us for those packets of “toast” – we don’t eat those either! We blame the europeans for those!!!
Toast has to be fresh sliced white bread, toasted in the toaster (!) until golden, then smothered in butter, so even when the butter has melted, there are still some chunks of butter on top!
July 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Pam says:
My Southern Grandmother made ‘cinnamon toast’ whenever us grands stayed over. Thick sliced home made bread sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon and butter, placed under a low broiler. With lots of kids,a broiler pan worked great. We kids called it our ‘night breakfast’.
Who knew ther were so many ways to make toast?
July 17th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Sir Nottaguy-Imadad says:
I knew a guy whose diet consisted of toast & beer. His parents threw him out & he couldn’t cook. But he sure knew how to use the toaster.
July 17th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Amy says:
This post made me smile. I have always been a huge fan of toast… spread with butter and some homemade preserves or a little cinnamon-sugar. Mmmm.
Recently, my hubby bought me a Dualit toaster (it is the Cadillac of toasters) and it has changed my toast-loving life. The thing makes the best piece of toast I have ever eaten… literally. The English really know their toast.
* * *
To this minute, I had not heard of a Dualit. Yet now I am coveting yours. I did not know I was capable of toaster envy. ~AM
July 17th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Deanna says:
Oh! The comment about milk toast! I haven’t heard or uttered (or typed) those words in many years! My mother used to make milk toast! Not being a fan of milk, or wet bread, I’m sure I had put it completely out of my memory! Ick! (sorry)
Great post on toast, though!
July 18th, 2009 at 6:50 am
Brigitte says:
Breakfast at my Canadian grandmother’s was toast with a wide assortment of available spreads including honey, jam, creton, nutella . . .
Sometimes I remember a comedian (I think he was on a show on HBO about 25 years ago) who had a toaster on a string around his neck. He was drumming on it with a fork and knife and singing an ode to toast. I wish I could find him on Youtube . . .
July 18th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Allison says:
We were at a rehearsal dinner about 6 years ago and a little boy (about 5 years old) decided that he would partake in celebration of the bride and groom — in front of about 150 people, he said,”I’d like to make a toast…to toast…and to Mr. Fork and to Mrs. Spoon.” We laughed until we cried — we still laugh about it. That’s my story about toast.
July 18th, 2009 at 10:01 am
everydayMOM says:
Hilarious!
BTW, when I started reading your blog many months ago, I never imagined that I would end up getting pregnant at 40! It’s been great to read some of your older posts when I’m having a bad “advanced maternal age” day. haha.
http://everydaymomlife.blogspot.com/2009/07/oh-boy-oh-girl-oh-my-oh-wow.html
* * *
Oh I’m so delighted for you! You have no idea how much wonderful you have ahead of you! Being an older mom comes with a few challenges but a lot of joy.
July 18th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Pam D says:
This morning? (well, actually yesterday morning, unless you are Mountain or Pacific time). When I asked my boy what he wanted for breakfast, he said “Cinnamon toast, please!!” So I made a dozen pieces of cinnamon toast, with butter, cinnamon, white sugar, and brown sugar, first baked and then broiled to near perfection. Oh heck, let’s just admit it; I didn’t burn them and they WERE perfection! The boy? He ate 7 (yes, SEVEN) pieces throughout the day. The dad, who loves cinnamon toast? Managed to snag the last piece before the boy scarfed it down. And me? I need to go to the store for a new loaf of bread…
July 19th, 2009 at 1:17 am
Brigitte says:
Found him! His name is Heywood Banks. Search Youtube for his name and toast. He’s older than I remember, but still pretty weird.
July 19th, 2009 at 6:41 am
The Redhead Riter says:
Toast is pretty much off limits these days due to just empty carbs UNLESS I get a piece that is so loaded with wheat that I can rationalize it’s goodness and imagine it being made solely of white flour….mmmmmmm
?Hope you’re having a sunshine ? filled Sunday!?
July 19th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
snarflemarfle says:
Oh, you must go look up Heywood Banks and his Toast song! It cracks me up! Yeah, Toast!!
My husband and I love toast and have it every Saturday morning when he lovingly makes breakfast (while I corral the kids). My 3-year old also loves toast, but he wants his “cold, please.” So really, he just likes bread and butter. Can’t blame him, though. It’ll be a few years before I introduce him to the most wonderful thing on sliced bread…butter and a sprinkling of sugar (oh, on soft white bread, please!). Now how did I get away from toast?
July 20th, 2009 at 7:36 am