Simple and Old, Just Like My Car

Earlier in the month, we loaded up my car and drove to the Midwest to see my parents.  I love my car. It is 10 years old and it is paid for and I can eat all the French fries I want in my car. And I know what all the buttons do. My car, it is not complicated. It is old and simple,  much like myself.

AD has a newer fancy car that I do not care for.  Besides the fact that it is some sort of inner sanctum where no French fry shall pass, it has all kinds of buttons and dials and thingys on it that do stuff that frighten me. Screens pop up and people talk to me, people I do not know and cannot see.  And I can never figure out how to get any of the buttons to do what they are supposed to do.  It is a hateful car.

One time I had to drive this car to a gathering at someone’s house, after dark. And as soon as I get in the car, I sense the car thinking, “Oh. It’s you. I suppose you will be wanting some fries.”

After I got to my destination and parked, I could not get the headlights to turn off. Or the door to lock. Every time I would take three steps away from the car, it would unlock itself just to be spiteful.  So I couldn’t go into the house.  I just stood outside the house locking and unlocking the car and turning the lights off and on and off and on and waving to the normal people going in.

Another time I had to take Sean and his little friend to school in this car and I could not unlock the back doors. I pushed every button I could find, but those doors would not open.  You know, I already have a reputation at this school as “that” mom, the one who can’t operate a calendar.  Now I’m “that”
mom who can’t figure out how to unlock the car door.

The people in the car pool line behind me were getting a little antsy, so finally I crawled into the backseat, unstrapped the children and then had them crawl into the front seat and out the door. Just like at the circus.

Shortly thereafter, my brother sent me the link to Blonde Star. Very funny John.

33 thoughts on “Simple and Old, Just Like My Car

  1. My car is so old that I view Chris our esteemed mechanic as the vehicular version of a gerontologist. We had a rental car this week; it chatted a lot and the heater worked. It was enlightening but I was glad to get back to my car, Old Lars.

  2. Love “Blonde Star”! Like my little car but yes sometimes it is too much. It is Toyota and if you remember it is foreign it works better. (Backwards) Loved my Pontaic Transport Beam me up Scotty. Repairman ruined it after the tornado in ’96. Another story.

  3. My vehicle is 7 years old and can hold any combination of 15 people; a queen-size bed frame, mattress, and box springs; or a sleeper sofa (all of which we have transported in it).

    Deep down inside, I know I must surely be more hip than this vehicle I’m chained to for at least the next few years. {Sigh} Dreaming of a little VW Beetle…

  4. I love the fact that my car is paid for, I can eat as many french fries in it as I want, just like AM, and it is my FIRST car. 🙂 What I don’t like: no tinting, no LATCH or tethers, and the fact that someday soon it will die and I will have to get a new car–with payments. 🙁

    * * *
    Well it’s not my first car. It’s about my 10th car but it is my first car that wasn’t off-the-lot new. AD does not believe in new cars. I do, but it’s a concession I’ve made. Love, it will make you do crazy things, like buy a used car off the internet. ~AM

  5. I just got a fancy new car that is just too much for this old broad. There are gadgets on the steering wheel(!)that I will never touch. Also a GPS lady that when talks, I jump. Her voice gets very smug as she say’s ‘You have reached your destination’.

    I am not afraid of her though…I will eat fries if I want!

  6. Mine too. And we’re also both cheap and our back bumpers sag. But so far, we’re both still reliable as long as you keep our batteries charged up and we’ll get you where you want to go. Eventually.

  7. My 1993 Acura is going away this week to be replaced by a fancy new Toyota thing. It is like going from a covered wagon to a rocket ship.

    * * *
    Yay for you! I hope your new ride is less condescending and spiteful than Antique Daddy’s.

  8. I had to give up my 15 year old Toyota 4 wd tercel wagon about 10 years ago. While I love my Rav-4, it is my Tercel that I miss. Oh the stories that car could have told. It was part of my personality from day one when I drove it home and my brother John said “You’re free, smart and 24 and you buy a grocery getter????”

    Yep. That’s me.

  9. hubs and i are in-process of buy our first minivan (gasp!) which also happens to be 11 years old (double gasp!). but, it was owned by a family friend, is in great shape, has super low miles and will hopefully serve our growing family for a few years at least.

    french fries, here we come!

  10. I recently have had to learn to use the remote for the TV, the a/c in the house and the answering machine. Never my job before. I’ll figure it all out in time, but keeping the 1997 purple Ford Escort because it is my loyal companion on this often rocky road of life.

  11. Love blond star! My ’92 mini van died last summer. I used to thank God for it every time I got in it to drive, hoping it would last one more year. Paid for is good. Its transmission scattered one mile from home on a 90 degree day last summer. (BTW that’s an awful sound) I pulled over and drove on the shoulder one more mile really slow so I wouldn’t have to walk to pick up my daughter from swimming. (I don’t break a sweat if I don’t have too!) As I made it into the parking space it “bled out” all of the transmission fluid. Very sad. I’m enjoying the 3 year old mini van we replaced it with, but we still have a little bit we owe the bank. Darn.

  12. The more new stuff we bring into the house or put in our garage, the older I feel. I still can’t figure out how to switch the NEW tv from Wii to regular viewing. Whatever happened to simple ‘on’ and ‘off’ kinda stuff?!

  13. I’m so jealous that you have a car you love and that loves you back enough to let you eat french fries in it!

    I’m on my fourth “new to me” car, but this one doesn’t fit quite right either. I had just about gotten there with my little Ford something or other. Then right after figuring out how to make it stop telling me when to “shift” is started living up to it’s “Fix Or Repair Daily” and “Found On Roadside Dead” names.

  14. Thanks for reminding me about Blondestar. That ALWAYS cracks me up, and I’m really in the mood for a laugh just now!

    Have a wonderful week, and drive safe!

  15. You are an absolute delight. I feel the same way about any new gadget we buy. I look at the huge instruction book and just long for the good old days – when things were simple and didn’t have all those buttons.
    Well done!!

  16. A car isn’t a car unless you can eat french fries in it!! French Fry Smell is so much better than most car smells. I think I even like it better than New Car Smell. My car is almost 7 years old and I love the fact that I know how everything works. It’s like a much loved and long-used cell phone. I hate getting new cell phones for the same reason. I have to learn all the new buttons and the bells and whistles are not the same tried and true as the old phone.

  17. I just got a used Kia Rondo from Carmax (2008 model) and it is new and lovely but does not do anything frightening. PLUS it has a cd player and a GALE FORCE AIR CONDITIONER. I am SO in love.

  18. My husband’s car hated me. The first time I drove it was a rainy night and I drove four miles before I figured out how to turn the windshield wipers on. It would never start for me, but it always did for him. He didn’t believe in new cars or using them for mobile dining rooms either.

    I bought my first new car ever last fall. It doesn’t talk to me, or have too many bells or whistles. Yesterday my daughter smashed a Hershey’s Kiss with her fanny on the back seat. But, I still love her.

  19. I get kind of attached to my vehicles. I remember crying when we got rid of our old LTD when I was in early elementary school. And even the thought of my first car, the family’s 1985 Oldsmobile (LOVED Oldsmobile…) Delta ’88, fondly called “The Titanic,” makes me a little misty.

    That video, by the way? Hilarious. And I’m a blonde.

  20. We’re hoping to make our ’93 Taurus (with no automatic locks or windows or cassette or CD or ANYTHING) last a couple more years. When it finally dies, we’ll be in Zoom’s position transitioning to a new car! Although, being US, I’m sure our “new” car will be at least a few years old. 😉

  21. OH NO!
    Our van is very, very old. It also runs perfectly, holds all our junk and we can get it grubby without guilt. Ideal!

  22. Amen. I think my husband’s far newer, lower mileage, fancy-schmancy car secretly despises me. And the kids. But my Jeep Cherokee? It’s 9-year-old self adores us.

  23. And now I have to say how much I despise seeing “it’s” and “its” screwed up. I always notice it. Except too late this time. That would be “Its 9-year-old self…”

    Maybe my husband’s car hates me for my poor command of the English language.

  24. Don’t worry, AM. Pretty soon your son will be able to walk you through all the buttons and gadgets in the car and anywhere else!

  25. I just realized when I clicked on your link at my She Speaks post that your URL is linked up incorrectly. Bummer. There were a lot of people who clicked over to your site. So sorry I didn’t catch that.

    Looking forward to meeting you on Friday. 🙂

  26. We just got a new (used) car and how adventurous is this? We got one just like our old one that had 272,000 on it! We figure this one will surely be reliable for a while since it has 200,000 fewer miles. The one we traded in was beyond question a clunker; however, it didn’t qualify as one because it’s mpg was better that 18. That’s OK– we did not need to buy a brand new car anyway since we’ve got a long way to go before Dave Ramsey would be proud of us.

  27. I forgot to add, our “new” car has seats like our old– they can be wiped off. Though I rarely transport kids, I appreciate that when I do, they can eat in relatively uninhibited fashion in the back seat. Also, our dog gets to go on a road trip once in a while because we don’t have to vaccuum after the ride– again, just wipe off the seats.

    I believe a car is for driving– not saving.

  28. My car before my current one, the “pardon-my-french” car, was a fancy one with buttons and stuff that did all kinds of stuff. I never figured it out, especially the fancy “Jacque” for changing tires. The electircal and computer stuff used to freak out.

    My “new” car is a second-hand japanese BASIC CAR. It drives me from a to b. Wipe-off seats. French fries, not a french jacques. I love it.

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