Comments on: Learning To Work

By: April

April — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:10:15 +0000

I’ve been on a long hiatus from your site. I’ve missed it so much!!! This has been, hands down, the sorest spot in my marriage. My MIL NEVER gave her sons and daughter chores, never made them do anything they didn’t want to keep doing (like finishing the karate or tap lessons they so desperately pleaded for) and now, all of them are extremely lazy in terms of cleaning and seeing what needs to be done and doing it! She even says and I quote “children should be treated like prince and princesses, they have enough time in their lives to work hard.” Yet, every time she is here she compliments me on how self sufficient my children are. My children are 9,6, and 2. They know that every Sunday they will be asked to pick up their rooms, they will help to clean spills, they will put away their laundry, and pick up after themselves. I hope that thus far it’s enough. When I bring home groceries my kids get up to help me before my husband does %~/ I’m so glad that you are teaching your child these things now. It could be detrimental to his marriage to do otherwise!

By: Cyndi

Cyndi — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:30:46 +0000

Yes! My friend was just grousing about latrine duty today, and I was patting myself on the back for teaching them from the start…it’s not 100% but they mostly get it that everyone has to do their part. Selling our house at this age has been remarkable for building that ‘must do’ attitude when I’ve slacked :blush:

By: Beverlydru

Beverlydru — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:14:51 +0000

My mothering style runs along with yours- to me it’s called “common sense”. I’m happy to report to that our son is a fabulous husband and his wife loves me very much for what he learned here. I trained him with the idea in mind that he would be a partner to God’s choice for him -not a prince!

By: edj

edj — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:10:53 +0000

Yep. I totally agree.
My FIL was raised by being waited on hand and foot by his mother and sisters. My MIL said she wouldn’t put her daughter in law through anything like that, and taught her son (my husband) to cook, sew, and do dishes. Phew!

By: Laura J.

Laura J. — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 03:57:54 +0000

You are so wise, AM! I wish I’d been so wise when my daughter was younger. I made the mistake of not training her to help out for two reasons: I thought she was too little and I didn’t think she would do things “right” (the curse of inheriting certain genes of perfection from my mother). Now my girl does help some here and there, but her attitude is not as willing sometimes as I would like. But we are working on it, together.

By: Michaele

Michaele — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:32:09 +0000

I’ve got this really amazing son who will be 18 next week and is in his first year of college at Gonzaga University. Not only is he a joy to me, he keeps his dorm room as clean as possible (the house has 40 boys in it, so this is a challenge), he brings his laundry home every Sunday when he comes for dinner and he just loves to come home and help with whatever he can. I just adore him. And trust me, this is nothing I did to train him to be like this. He was just born a very considerate, hardworking young man and I thank God for him daily (actually several times a day!)

By: Steffj89

Steffj89 — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:25:46 +0000

Yes I am trying but feel hopelessly lost. Organization skills are not ones I have ever acquired and I am one of thsoe whose mom did everything….and I mean everything. Here I sit almost forty and I struggle every step of the way. I suck at it, I get lost going from room to room and my house usually looks like a disaster area….How I truly wish that my mom had had us help more and taught us things like how to run the washer and dryer(my husband taught me when we got married in my early 30s)
I had run one now and then but never regularly….my mom and grandma kept my laundry done thru college and when i got out on my own i just dropped it all off @ a laundry that got paid by the pound….
sad sad sad…
but my boys know how to sort and which color basket is for what kind of clothes and how to turn on the dishwasher and wash dishes and empty it and clear and set the table….its a start
steff

By: Bitsy

Bitsy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:45:24 +0000

Yes, yes, yes!!! I have approached it much the same as you. I don’t keep track, but my kids are expected to help out and jump up when we ask them to do something. Sometimes they get paid, especially for a big job.

By: Minnesotamom

Minnesotamom — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:11:39 +0000

You catch a lot of flack for what I think are sound parenting principles. Just know that I am always thankful for your perspective!

Anja has long loved to help me dust. What’s more, I think she has picked up on our encouragement, because she will often say to me enthusiastically, “Good job, Mama!” when I’ve completed some simple task, such as pouring her a glass of milk or closing a cupboard door. It’s hilarious!

She is also getting better and better at cleaning up her toys after she’s played with them, though this still produces the occasional temper tantrum. She received a small vacuum from my grandma for her birthday, and she will often grab it to clean up. She always offers to “help” with chores, which I am hoping is a good sign for years to come. Perhaps I am naive.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:48:06 +0000

My daughters-in-law are so grateful that I taught my boys to do all household tasks and have good work ethics. As you said, they see what needs to be done and they do it. They, along with their wives, hold down good jobs and are great parents and partners. You are well on your way to helping Sean become a wonderful husband and father.