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  • Things I Falsely Believe

    January 13, 2011

    Random, Stray and Otherwise Unassigned Thoughts:

    If I could just find the right color of blush I wouldn’t look so washed out.

    Someday I will find the “right” haircut and I’ll have fabulous easy to do hair that always looks great.

    Jeans are comfortable.

    My kid is astonishingly smarter/cuter/funnier than all the other kids.

    My seven-year-old will always be the loving, delightful and polite little fella he is today.

    My husband forgets to take out the trash on purpose.

    If I get it on sale, I’m saving money.

    I can still shop in Juniors.

    Everyone else has it together/knows what they’re doing.

    Fun-sized Snickers are a healthy nutritious snack.

    Someday I will get rid of The Mole.

    And then I will have a beautiful Southern Living yard.

    Coffee counts towards my daily 8-glasses of water because it’s made with water.

    That weird smell coming from the sink disposal is probably nothing.


    1. Karen says:

      Coffee TOTALLY counts as your daily water intake! (you wouldn’t mind if I lived in your caffeine laced fantasy world with you, right?)

      January 13th, 2011 at 8:52 am

    2. Big Mama says:

      You mean there isn’t a chance that I’m going to find the “right” haircut that’s always easy to do?

      I feel like my life has no purpose anymore.

      January 13th, 2011 at 8:55 am

    3. Bee says:

      These things aren’t true?!

      January 13th, 2011 at 9:09 am

    4. Karen says:

      False belief…Hmmmpf! Why, in one delicious fun size Snickers there’s dairy, legumes, and cocoa, which is an antioxidant – and, it is the perfect accompaniment to a steaming cup of coffee, which, really, is just like a hot cup of water…. 😉

      * * *
      You are a logical thinker and a scholar and I adore you.

      January 13th, 2011 at 9:09 am

    5. Ginger says:

      Haaaaaa! The best part is the coffee. 🙂

      January 13th, 2011 at 9:11 am

    6. Jules@EverydayMommy says:

      Just the snort-inducing laugh I needed today.

      p.s. No one has it together/knows what they’re doing.

      January 13th, 2011 at 9:25 am

    7. momof8 says:

      Oh, AM, some of those are definitely true! BTW–your baby WILL always be the loving, delightful and polite little fella he is today. He may just frustrate you once in awhile!

      January 13th, 2011 at 9:50 am

    8. Blog Antagonist says:

      Blush: Benefit’s Coralista blush would look beautiful on you. It looks a little scary in the package, but it’s actually pretty sheer and therefore, idiot proof. It gives a lovely flush to the cheeks without looking like Sheena Easton 1987 blusher.

      Jeans: Lee no gap waistband stretch jeans from Kohl’s. I paid $36. They are so awesome I would have paid $360.


      January 13th, 2011 at 9:56 am

    9. Cathie says:

      I am sure we are long-lost twins. All of these things are true, positively.

      January 13th, 2011 at 10:14 am

    10. MarathonMom says:

      affirmative on the water – but I go with diet coke.

      Also, I am rockin a pretty decent Krystal Gale in hopes that I find a shorter version that is not a Mom Cut.

      January 13th, 2011 at 11:19 am

    11. Kay says:

      I totally agree with you on the jeans part (she types as she sits with unbuttoned jeans). I have two very old pairs of jeans that are so comfy but so worn out. I shouldn’t wear them anymore, but I do. : ) My other jeans..not so comfy.

      My plumber told me what’s up with the funny smell in the disposal. Stuff grows under the rubber flap. (I know..gross!) He told me to use a toilet bowl brush (I have a dedicated one) with soap on it and swirl it around under there. All manner of who knows what came off. : p I do it every once in a while when it starts getting ‘the funk’. You can also get disposal cleaning liquid. But I just run the tap on hot water, turn on the disposal, turn the water down to a trickle and pour in Dawn or something liquid like that. It foams up and gets it clean. I usually do that after the brush ‘thing’. : )

      I love your hair, but I so hear ya.

      January 13th, 2011 at 11:27 am

    12. jean says:

      I love these. Thanks for posting them.

      January 13th, 2011 at 12:02 pm

    13. Pam says:

      And there’s one more….you can eat a giant Snickers while drinking a Diet Coke and all the calories are GONE!!!!!

      January 13th, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    14. Shelly @ Life on the Wild Side says:

      You are just so cute! And did you know that Weight Watchers actually DOES count coffee toward your “liquids” for the day? So there! 🙂

      Also, sorry I missed you over Christmas. My back went out and I was stuck on my sister’s couch! Grrr.

      January 13th, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    15. Nan says:

      *GASP* snickers aren’t a healthy nutritious snack????

      January 13th, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    16. Iota says:

      That tomorrow I will be different from today, in all kinds of good ways, and that it will happen overnight magically, because the Transformation Fairy is the Tooth Fairy for grown-ups.

      January 13th, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    17. tom says:

      I have it all together. I just don’t know where I put it. This is a fact, just ask Michael’s Mommy, who would sometimes like me to lose myself just so I could find the other stuff I’ve misplaced.

      January 13th, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    18. Brigitte says:

      The coffee one IS true, according to recent research! Snopes consolidated a bunch of it at

      January 13th, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    19. Tiff @ The Faery Inn says:

      Comfortable jeans are the ugly ones.

      January 13th, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    20. deb says:

      Why of course we all know what we’re doing: we’re saving money by shopping for comfortable jeans on sale in the Junior’s department.

      January 13th, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    21. Stacey Harris says:

      I also falsley believe I will one day enjoy eating onions– (so,far no luck with that one) I am VERY happy to hear the coffee thing is a done deal, because in my world coffee is drank before the morning is deemed good. I also believe that one day my kids will turn off the lights when they leave a room, and one day … they will remember to close the front door.
      I could go on and on and on…

      January 13th, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    22. karen says:

      I’m always certain I’m going to find the perfect flawless haircut that’s super easy to maintain too. And I’m sure my kids are the cutest and smartest, and I always feel like everyone else has it all together and knows what they’re doing too.

      Great list!!

      January 13th, 2011 at 10:09 pm

    23. Brigitte says:

      I forgot to add that I believe that one day, I’ll find a bathing suit that actually looks at least semi-flattering on me. ;-D

      January 14th, 2011 at 6:52 am

    24. shayne says:

      I totally identify with pretty much everything on this list except the shopping in the juniors department one.

      Yeah, that ship has long sailed. Good to see you’re still writing AM. 🙂

      January 14th, 2011 at 11:24 am

    25. Sister Lynn says:

      Actually – I am in Weight Watchers and they really do let you count black coffee towards your water goals for the day. They found caffeine didn’t make a significant difference – now if you add sugar and creamer that knocks it out.

      January 14th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    26. Evil Gym Mom says:

      Sooo with you on the haircut, but now also include in the search one for youngest daughter!

      January 14th, 2011 at 2:34 pm

    27. edj says:

      What are you implying here? All of these things are true.

      January 14th, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    28. Diana says:

      Thanks for a good laugh and a little perspective.

      January 16th, 2011 at 7:18 pm

    29. Sylvia says:

      I’m a long time reader, but first time commenter… two of those are true!

      Jeans ARE comfortable! And coffee DOES count! 🙂

      Oh, and another way to make your disposal smell better: run the orange peels through it. Smells great! 🙂

      January 18th, 2011 at 12:34 am

    30. Leslie Maddox says:

      My own similar list would include the following:

      The lighting in the dressing room and the cheap mirror are the reasons that I look fat.

      I’ll gain only 20 pounds during my next pregnancy and then lose 30 after the baby is born.

      My son must be distracted when he ignores me telling him, “No! Stop!” Maybe I should just get louder.

      January 20th, 2011 at 11:41 pm

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