Antique Junk Drawer, Mildly Amusing

Cat Challenged

Many many moons ago, when our first set of next door neighbors lived next door (we are now on neighbors #3 which may or may not have something to do with us) they asked me if I would feed their cats while they were in Hawaii. I said yes because it’s not in my nature to turn down a request for help.  And I thought they meant “feed” the cats.  How hard can it be to walk next door and pour some food in a bowl?  But since I had not owned a cat since I…

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Mildly Amusing, Use Your Words

How To Market Pantyhose

So a Sunday or two back, because it was cold, I pulled on a pair of tights to wear with a wool skirt.  I normally wear pants to church when it’s cold.  And by pants I mean slacks, not jeans.  I am not a wear-jeans-to-church kind of gal, but if you are that’s okay, not that there’s anything wrong with it, judge not, yada yada, whatever.  But for some reason I thought I would wear a skirt even though it was near freezing. Sidebar:  Sean really likes it when I wear a skirt or a dress,…

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Makes Me Sigh, Mildly Amusing, Reruns and Leftovers

Cuter

“He’s cuter than he used to be.” This was a comment that I overheard recently at a family gathering. When I realized the speaker was referring to my son, I laughed involuntarily. Not a belly laugh, but a sniff of disbelief as though I were trying to expel a gnat from my nose. Cuter than he used to be! Absurd. Her words seeped into the spongy part of my brain that processes and analyzes. I was surprised when I started to feel a little indignant. What exactly did she mean by that? That Sean wasn’t cute…

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Always Real, Mildly Amusing, Silliness

The Secrets Of Motherhood

A parenting magazine that I sometimes read recently ran the headline, “The Secrets of Motherhood.”  And honestly, that kind of headline makes me roll my eyes.  Because really, after several thousand years of recorded history, am I supposed to believe that women are just now  revealing the secrets of motherhood? That we’ve been able to keep those secrets under our collective hat all this time?  I don’t buy it.  I know better.  Women like to share. Women like to share in a way that makes men queasy. There are no secrets among the motherhood.  For example:  Woman…

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Mildly Amusing

How Parenting Is Like Golf

In my previous life, I played golf three or four times a week. I love golf. I even love to watch it on television.  In fact, before I met Antique Daddy, I wouldn’t even consider dating someone who didn’t play golf.  It was on my non-negotiable list.  We played quite a bit until Sean came along and I hope that one day Sean will take it up and we will play as a family because the family that golfs together, well, they spend a lot of time together. On Twitter the other day I saw that…

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Mildly Amusing

Suh-lute!

If you are much younger than me, you probably don’t remember the television show Hee Haw and therefore the title of my post today will make absolutely no sense. Anyway, that’s just my way of saluting all you moms in the northeast and midwest and other snowy places who dress their kids in snow clothes four and five times a day. After dressing Sean in our make-do snow clothes several times on Thursday, I need to rest for the remainder of the weekend. Glory be it’s exhausting! — all the pulling and tugging and tucking and…

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Mildly Amusing

Nothing Worse Than An Angry Monkey

Photo Temporarily Unavailable The other day as I was dressing Sean for church, he thrust Mr. Monkey in my face.  “Be careful,” he warned solemnly.  “Sometimes Mr. Monkey gets angry.”  

Mildly Amusing

Big Is Beautiful

Yesterday, Sean and I were playing in his room on the floor.  I was laying on my side and he was crawling back and forth across me. At one point, he playfully karate chopped my side from stem to stern and announced, “Mom, you look like the Great Wall of China! I could see you from outerspace!” I’m sure that in some culture, somewhere, that was a compliment. Photo Temporarily Unavailable Update: For those who have asked, there is no update.  We had two rounds of bloodwork on Tuesday, fasting and non-fasting.  (He is still at-home…

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Mildly Amusing

2007 Best of Comments

One of the best things about offering myself up for public humiliation and criticism on my blog nearly every day is your comments. Goodnight you people make me laugh! I keep a file called Best of Comments and then at the end of the year, I like to publish them out of context just to amuse myself. I’m kind of like a cat with a piece of string — easily amused. However, this year was a tragic year for my Best of Comments file because, in July my computer died a sudden death, not only leaving…

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