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  • A Doughnut Themed Day

    May 14, 2008

    Warning:  No real point to this post.  Your time might be better spent cleaning lint from your belly button.

     

    Some days just seem to have a theme.  Have you noticed? Friday, the theme of the day was apparently doughnuts.

     

    Friday morning, Antique Daddy and I went to our end-of-the-year parent-teacher conference.  I was nervous, but it went extremely well.  I was so proud of the things Ms. Carrie told me about my little boy — it brought tears to my eye. My mother used to leave my parent-teacher conferences weeping too, but for entirely different reasons.  The good nuns did not appreciate my creativity and outgoing nature.  Quirky is not a quality admired by the Catholics.

     

    I digress. It’s what I do.

     

    Anyway, beyond the fact that Sean has more than mastered all of the skills appropriate for his age, Ms. Carrie reported that he is well liked, respects the teachers, demonstrates self-control, is kind, and shares. And is quite funny.  Is there anything more a mom could want?  I think not.  

     

    After the conference, AD and I celebrated by stopping by Starbucks and basking in the after glow of parental pride.  As I ordered my coffee, I spotted an old-fashioned glazed cake doughnut in the pastry case.  Intoxicated by Sean’s good report, I ordered the doughnut with reckless abandon and ate it in about three bites.  I could not resist.  Glazed cake doughnuts are the one thing I almost never allow myself because if I eat one then that’s all I will be able to think about for three weeks and I will then spend all my free time talking myself in and out of getting in the car to go buy doughnuts. 

     

    Later that same day, I overheard on the news that a man tried to attack a woman in a doughnut shop.  I didn’t catch the entire story, but that seemed like a gross miscalculation on his part.  Bad move.  Never get in between a woman and her doughnut. Depending on the time of the month, all that might be left of you is a powdered sugar outline.

     

    Then finally, that night, I was watching a little late night food channel and Paula Deen and her son were making homemade doughnuts out of biscuits.  I love how Paula can tease six syllables out of the word doughnut.  Anyway, Paula pulled a doughnut from the hot grease and bounced it around in a paper bag full of powdered sugar and then presented it to the audience.  And they applauded. For the doughnut.

     

    Some food I would not applaud, say turnips or miniature corn.  But a doughnut I would definitely applaud.  I would go so far as to stand and shout Encore! for a doughnut.

     

    See? I told you. Pointless. And you could have had a clean belly button.

     

    We’re Good At Naming Stuff

    May 11, 2008

    This weekend, we went to Tuna to see Memaw and Papa George for Mother’s Day.  Sean really wanted to pack his own bag, so I let him.  When I checked his duffel bag, he had packed some favorite stuffed animals, several books and a Lightning McQueen diecast car.  But no underwear.  Everyone has their priorities.  Depending upon the trip, I might choose books over clean undies too.

    When he was finished packing, he zipped up his bag and announced, “I got all my stuff in it!  But I’m going to call it a STUFFel bag!”  Totally cracked himself up.  And his mother too, who loves a good play on words.

    With all due apologies to the town of Duffel, we like our name better and will henceforth refer to said bags as stuffel bags.

    On the way back from Tuna, as we drove along the local super highway in the HOV lane, it occurred to me that High Occupancy Vehicle is not that accurate of a description because most of the cars you see only have two people in them.  In my view, two is not exactly a high rate of occupancy.

    I think they should have named it the MOV lane for Multiple Occupancy Vehicle – a more accurate description, plus the marketing folks could sell it as the “move” lane, playing off the idea that the lane is “supposed” to “move” traffic.  TXDOT should really check with me on these things first.

    Note:  Quotation marks in use to denote lame concept and implies eye roll. 

    * * * * *

    Does your family have any new and improved words?

    Husbandry

    March 13, 2008

    Dear Husbands Across America,

    If your wife is being self-deprecating, you are not allowed to join the party. It is not a bandwagon, do not jump on.

    Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow.

    ~ Antique Mommy

    * * * * *

    In the interest of equal opportunity:

    Dear Wives Across America -

    The art of being wife wise, is knowing what to overlook.

    Thank you and have a pleasant tomorrow.

    ~ Antique Mommy

    Bring It Stacy!

    March 3, 2008

    I don’t get to watch much television these days, but occasionally at the end of the day, after I’ve put Sean to bed, I’ll flip through the channels and end up watching part of an episode of What Not To Wear. Do y’all ever watch that show? Isn’t it fascinating? Two snotty condescending people insult you, throw your clothes away, make you cry and then force you to buy uncomfortable shoes. And inevitably they jump out from behind a rack of clothes at a department store and scare the puddin’ out of you. Fashion + Fear = Fun! 

    I am fascinated by this show for many reasons, but mostly because I do not understand these people who are emotionally attached to their sorry clothes. I  don’t know how many times I’ve seen Stacy and some poor schmuck tearfully playing tug of war with a ratty sweater. My theory is that these people are the same kids who drug around their blankie until they were 11. I was not one of those kids. I never had a blankie. But then again, I may have attachment issues.  On the other hand, if a tornado came through and wiped out my entire collection of broom skirts and Brighton belts, I would be able to skip the grief counseling.

    Anyway, I’m thinking about all of this because one recent Sunday morning, after I had tried on no less than four different outfits to wear to church, I was thinking about submitting my own application to What Not To Wear. Now before you go all holy roller on me, it’s not like I was trying to show off and dress to the nines or anything like that. I was aspiring to dress maybe to the twos which is one step above pajama bottoms and slippers. I am hopelessly out of step with the now generation (as evidenced by the fact that I just used the term “now generation”) and believe that you should at least be dressed to the twos when attending church – that means no pajama bottoms and no cleavage and I’m not really all that keen on blue jeans.

    Anyway, like most Americans, I have a closet full of clothes. But all of my stuff a) doesn’t fit, b) is hopelessly out of date, c) was purchased when I was temporarily insane, d) is hideous, e) has been worn so much it is sad, sad, sad and f) all of the above.

    So on that particular Sunday morning, I was in my closet, knee deep in a pile of a, b, c, d, e and f – and I was thinking that if Stacy London were in my closet, I would not be playing tug of war with her over a broom skirt. I would not be crying. No, I’d be standing in the trash can stomping it all down to make sure there was room for everything.

    And then I’d kick her out of my closet and call in Big Mama who would preface her insults with “Bless your little ole heart” as all good southern women do.

    News!

    February 25, 2008

    First of all, bloodwork results.  The doctor’s office called Friday night at 5pm and reported that all the bloodwork came back normal — all the liver and pancreatic panels were just fine. Yay! But there is still a lot of sugar in his urine. While that is not nomal, it could be normal for him.  The doctor will chat up the specialists this week and then we will decide where to go from here.  We may need to make a visit to a nephrologist at some point. In the meantime, Sean seems to be feeling well and that puts my world back on it’s axis.

    Second – Whut The Heck Izit photo contest will end sometime today and I will announce the “winner” of our fabulous prize-ish prize-like prize tomorrow morning.  I have no idea what the prize will be but it will include a one of a kind hand drawn work of art by Sean.

    And third, if you haven’t been over to my design blog, Inspired Spaces, go check out my new look!  Today we are working on Jennifer’s combo living/dining room. She loves vivid color and needs some help pulling it all together and would love to hear your ideas.

    The New Fruitcake

    December 11, 2007

    Photo Temporarily Unavailable

    Sean and I were shopping in Sam’s the other day when we spotted this. 

    As I looked at the wall of Yard-O-Beef, I imagined the Hillshire marketing folks sitting around a conference table at 4am, bleary eyed, shirts untucked, everyone needing a shave and shower when someone said, “Why not call it Yard-O-Beef?” And then everyone said, “Great! That’s a wrap. Let’s go home!”

    And really, who wouldn’t want to find a Yard-O-Beef under the tree on Christmas morning?

    Yard-O-Beef! The new fruitcake!

    What’s the most unusual Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

    Ice Ice Baby

    December 10, 2007

    (Disclaimer:  I don’t even know what Ice Ice Baby means.)

    Saturday, we went to the Ice! exhibit/extravaganza/event at the local Texas style hotel/convention center.

    Even though it was a balmy 80 degrees outside, inside the hotel it was 9 degrees. Y’all, did you know that 9 degree is cold!? Brrr!  And everything was made out of blocks of ice, including a slide and a sleigh and a life-sized nativity.  It was indeed cool!  (Get it? Cool? Ha.)

    The shuttle to the hotel was festively decorated with Christmas ornamentation. When we got on the bus Sean sat on my lap and whispered in my ear, “Mom, isn’t this a beautiful bus!?”

    And indeed it was.

    If he was impressed with the bus, it bode (boded?) well for the actual exhibit/extravaganza/event. However I could have saved us $52 and just rode the bus.

     Wish I’d though of that sooner.

    Photo Temporarily Unavailable

    Balloons: Eventually Someone’s Gonna End Up Crying

    December 4, 2007

    Photo Temporarily Unavailable

    Warning.

    What?

    Wait!

     Waaaah!

    Woe. Wailing. Weeping.

    Wincing.

    Why, why, why!?

    Whatever.

    Worrying.

    Waiting, waiting, waiting….

     

    I’m Addicted To Rice

    November 10, 2007

    I scored 40 and donated 220 grains of rice here.  So far.  How did you do?

    Otherwise Occupied

    November 7, 2007

    In case you were wondering who my company was yesterday, it’s my mommy.  She’s still here.  Sometimes I like to be coy. 

    The upside to that is that she is occupying my child which means I can do other things, like go get my teeth cleaned – just a little hobby of mine, something I like to do in my spare time.

    The downside to that is she can’t vote for me which means I’ll probably win this prize. So, maybe you could get your mother to vote for me? (That’s once every 24-hours through November 8th! Operators are standing by! Call now and get a set of Ginzu knives with every vote!)

    I leave you with this “that’s my boy” moment.   The other day Sean came home from school and told me that the teacher asked the class to name a fruit for the each letter of the alphabet.  As expected, he said “A” was for apple, “B” was for banana and I think he said “C” was for canna-wope.  I asked what fruit started with “D” and he said doughnut. 

    Yep. That’s my boy!

    The 2007 Weblog Awards

    Oops! How’d that get there??