Archive for the 'Hallmark Holidays' Category

The Mystique of Older Motherhood or What A Crock

May 8, 2008 | Always Real, Hallmark Holidays

I get an email every week or so from someone saying that because I’m an older mother, I’m probably a better mom (than those younger moms), that I am probably wiser (than those younger moms), that I probably appreciate my child more (than those younger moms), that I probably have more patience (than those younger moms).

 

To that I say this: HA! 

 

For emphasis, I shall say it again: HA! 

 

Oh that it were so. Let me assure you, it is so not so.

 

Sometimes y’all?  The word Mom is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.  It tickles my ears like no music ever has.  I remember how I longed and yearned to be called Mom for so long and it makes my heart melt like a popsicle on a summer day.

 

But then other times, after a long day, Mom is the last word I want to hear.

 

And I certainly don’t want to hear it 15 times in a row in various inflections.

 

Mom? MOM! MAHaaaaam! Mommmmmm! Maaaaahummmm?  MOE-UMM!! Mommy! MoMMee?  Mom-ME!

 

I just want it to stop. For. The. Love. Of. Pete. Give it a rest kid.  

 

In spite of my age, I am often not patient, not wise and not all that appreciative.  I am however, almost always more tired (than those younger moms).

 

Sorry to disappoint all you misguided emailers, but that’s the sorry truth about my geriatric mothering. 

 

What? You have days like that too?  And you are not of advanced maternal age?

 

The truth is that no matter your age, motherhood is often draining, exasperating, annoying, unsatisfying and almost always smelly.

 

It is also true that there is nothing else you have ever done in your life that you would describe in those terms, yet quickly add, “But I love it! It is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me!”  

 

And it’s true. You love it. It is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to you. And if you are like me, you’d like to do it all over again.

 

My hat is off to all you younger moms. You inspire me.  Happy Mother’s Day.

So Flippin’ Cool

April 30, 2008 | Give Aways, Hallmark Holidays

 Last year, the lovely folks at Flip Video sent me their little hand held video-gadgety thingeedoo to try out and it was love at first sight.  This year they sent me one to give away to you, just in time for Mother’s Day! Yay nice Flip people! 

Here’s the lowdown on The Flip:  It is custom made for someone like me with a low techno-IQ and little time/patience/energy to figure stuff out and it’s small enough to fit in your purse. 

It is so simple to use.  Seriously, I took it out of the box, shot some video and then uploaded it (or is it downloaded?) to a video service in about 15 minutes. I keep it in my car just in case Sean does something cute or I spot a UFO and the local news needs footage. Because if a UFO is going to land on Earth, you better believe it will be in Texas.

You can get one at most of the usual places where techno-gadgetry is sold.  Or you can leave a comment here and maybe win one. 

Leave a comment on this post by midnight Thursday (5/1) telling me your mother’s first name (or your favorite mom-type person) and some fun factoid about her.  I’ll randomly draw a name to win a 60-minute Flip Video.

I’ll go first.  My mother’s name is Vivian.  Her parents named her Alberta but someone changed it on the birth certificate to Vivian. No one knows who.  It was too much trouble to change back, so Vivian she is to this day or “Bib” as her family calls her.  Or Wivian.  Also, her grandmother kidnapped her when she was five and took her to St. Louis. But that’s a story for another day.

* * * * * *

Edited to Add: Y’all! I am loving your comments and hearing about your moms. I really should be doing about a zillion other things, but I can’t tear myself away. 

Edited Again to Add: Even though the contest is over, feel free to leave a comment about your mom! I love reading them.

 

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

December 17, 2007 | Hallmark Holidays

Hello everyone and welcome to the house of Antique.    Thank you for joining me on Boo Mama’s Christmas Tour of Homes.  Let me show you around.

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First of all, something old. You may remember this guy from a post from last year, Sitting Santa $1.39.  He is always the first thing I unwrap and put out every holiday season and the last thing I put away. He’s my favorite, but don’t tell the other decorations. We don’t want a holiday brouhaha on our hands.

My favorite tree ornament is this little baby boy sleeping on the moon.  One of the first Christmas seasons I spent in Texas back in the early 80s, I spent alone. 

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 I couldn’t afford to go home to Illinois and my parents still worked at that time and couldn’t get time off to come see me. That year I purchased this little guy at Michael’s.  He was one of those paint-it-yourself ceramic ornaments and so that’s what I did, even though I didn’t have a tree. That was the year my oldest nephew was born and now he is a grown man with two children of his own.  Sean has also claimed it as his favorite ornament.  I never dreamed when I was painting it that I would one day have a little boy of my own.

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One year my mother and I found ourselves in Macy’s at closing time on Christmas Eve.  They were marking down things like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t know why we bought these sheep except for that they were marked down like you wouldn’t believe. When you turn them upside down they “baaaaah!” I used to torment the dog with them back when I  had a dog.  Makes me miss my dog.

My mom bought me this nativity set about 15 years ago and my dad made me the manger to go with it. It’s a favorite thing that hopefully Sean will have in his own home some day.

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I don’t know why I love this yellow Santa so much, but I do.  He’s quirky and I like quirky. He always sits front and center on the mantle. I bought him one year at the Lord & Taylor in Prestonwood Mall which no longer exists.  Makes me miss Prestonwood Mall.

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This year my breakfast room and den tree are done in apples and other child friendliness. This wreath hangs on an old antique window frame that is propped up behind a small chest that I found in an antique store in downtown Tuna. Hidden in the wreath are two santas that are hanging on for dear life.

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They are supposed to hang from tapers, but I tucked them in the wreath as a suprise for anyone who takes the time to look.

The penguins are new this year - Hancock Fabrics 50% off sale. You can probably get some of your very own if you hurry.  And can one’s halls really be properly decked without a pair of resin penguins? I think not.

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Merry Christmas y’all!  Now hurry back to Boo Mama’s for more fabulous home tourage.  I think she is about to put out the dip and Wassail.

 

Halloween Party

October 29, 2007 | Hallmark Holidays

Today was Sean’s Halloween/Fall Festival party at his school.  I was in charge of supplying the party napkins and would like to report that I did not screw that up.  Just to make sure that I would not mess up my assignment, I bought four times as many napkins as was reasonably required and then I sent them a week before the party.  Which was also when I sent Sean to school dressed as a pirate.  A week before the party. 

In Sean’s permanent file at the school, there is probably a note saying that Sean’s mother should never be trusted with anything more complicated than party napkins.  The up side to being fairly incompetent is that no one will ask me to be in charge of anything other than party napkins.

Some of the parents dressed up in costume which made me think “Yay for you, you costume wearing moms who have costumes!”   I went as a mom who just came from the gym and needed a shower and didn’t know where to stand.    

I did get a chance to visit with Sean’s teacher who told me that Sean informs her that I give him money every time he goes poo poo on the potty and that he is saving up for a puppy, which is not  true.  I am making him save up for college, not a puppy.

At first I was concerned that he was telling tall tales, but then I decided that it probably works in my favor as it will make the other things he tells the teacher about me less believable.

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Clearly, the success of the party is owed to the abundance of the festive party napkins as seen in the photo.

Jack-O-Lanterns

October 24, 2007 | Hallmark Holidays

So we went to the pumpkin patch last week and came home with two pumpkins. 

I picked out a lovely perfectly rounded unblemished beauty. So stunning was this pumpkin that it could have been a coach for Cinderella.

Sean picked an oddly shaped, tall, skinny lop-sided pumpkin.  I pointed out its flaws, that it had a bad case of acne and couldn’t stand up straight.  But he didn’t care.  He pleaded his case saying it was a good pumpkin — that he loved it and it was the only pumpkin for him.  He didn’t see that it was ugly.   May he continue to see the world this way, as one who doesn’t look at the outside but only sees the good in a pumpkin.

As soon as we got home, he immediately wanted to get busy carving up those pumpkins, even though I told him they wouldn’t last long once they were carved.  And in typical three-year-old fashion, he would not be deterred by logic — even after I dispelled the visions of knife wielding dancing in his head when I informed him his job would be to pull out the seeds.

 After I cut the top off the first pumpkin, I told him to reach in and start pulling out all the seeds being very careful not to use the word guts.  “No thanks!” he said pinching his nose. “It’s stinky and icky.  I just want to do the fun stuff.”  And then he ran away to play until the fun stuff started happening.  I love his honesty. I may use that line on him the next time he calls me in the bathroom to wipe his little stinky icky behind.

When “we” were done carving up our pumpkins, I put tea light candles in each one and lit them and then turned down the lights.  I called Sean in to see our jack-o-lanterns in all their glowing glory. “Ooooh!” he said, “That’s inter-westing!”  And then he scrambled up on a chair and blew the candles out. And then I lit them. And he blew them out. And I lit them and this went on for many many rounds and again the next day and the next.  Apparently this was the fun stuff to which he was referring.

After about three days, the jack-o-lanterns began to shrivel and take on a peculiar smell as all beautiful and ugly things eventually do and so they were removed to the trashcan. 

We enjoyed the pumpkins immensely during their short tenure here at the House of Antique and in return they enjoyed a full 15 minutes of flame – in about 900 one-second intervals.

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