Dear Cleo -

Today we celebrate not only Christmas Eve, but the 79th birthday of you and your handsome twin brother Leo! The miracle of every life is worth celebrating whether it be a life of two years or 79 years.

I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday and thank you. Like a lost puppy, you and George took me into your family the instant your son brought me home nine years ago. Never have I felt more welcomed and wanted anywhere. I realize now the reason you were so happy to see me is that you had hopes that finally someone had come along who could de-crust the crusty old bachelor that your youngest son had become. I know your life long dream has been that he would marry and have children and remove his motorcycle from your garage. Well, what do you think? Since the little boy has come along, we are all a lot less crusty and a lot more soggy wouldn’t you say? I don’t know what to tell you about the motorcycle. There’s just so much I can do.

You have so many characteristics that I hope Sean inherits. You love to laugh and can laugh at yourself. You can sell anything to anyone. You have weathered the worst of what life has to offer and come out the other side with your faith and humor intact. You are generous with your friendship. You cry when others are hurting. I know this because you’ve cried with me and over me a number of times in the past nine years. You have a forgiving spirit — which I also know because you didn’t even get mad at me that time I yelled at you in right in the middle of Wal-Mart. I don’t know if these qualities were borne out of the hardship of growing up during The Depression on the North Texas prairie with six brothers and sisters or if that’s just how God made you. I just hope some of it is sifted down into the character of Sean.

So Happy Birthday Cleo! My birthday wish for you is that the coming year will bring you many occasions to laugh and count your blessings. And my prayer for you is that there will be a lot more birthdays, a lot more milestones to celebrate and a lot more Memaw-time for Sean — and for all of us.

Love,
Your Antique Daughter-in-Law

Way back in the last century, when TV only came in black and white, there was a game show called To Tell The Truth. This show featured a panel of obscure celebrities trying to guess the identity of an even more obscure celebrity from amongst two others claiming also to be said obscure celebrity — in a friendly identity theft sort of way. At the end of each episode, the announcer would say, “Would the real [obscure celebrity name here] please stand up?” The suspense was palpable to see who would stand as all three contestants jostled in their seats.

Anyway, Kitty Carlisle was one of the regular panelists on the show and I remember thinking she embodied all things elegant. As a 7-year-old girl, I wanted my name to be Kitty Carlisle, except for when I was wanting my name to be Laura Petrie, but never did I want my name to be “Mom”– until I did and then I couldn’t. But then later, much later, my name was changed to Mom. And right around that same time, I noticed that everyone else seemed to be named Mom too. And boy is that confusing in places like Wal-Mart where there are a lot of pint-sized humanoids running amok screaming “Hey Mom!” And now even Antique Daddy refers to me as “Mama” at times. And that gets very weird at family gatherings when he calls into the kitchen from the den, “Hey Mama?” and my mother-in-law and I both answer “Yes?” in unison. Everyone in the house holds their breath in suspense to see who will stand as we both jostle in our seats.

I’ve read that even before a baby is born, he can distinguish the sound of his mother’s voice from any other. You would think that would work in reverse, but no, it doesn’t. To me every toddler screaming “Mommy!” sounds like Sean and sends my momtenna up like a rocket and my head spinning like Linda Blair thus relieving me of what precious little adrenaline I have on a given day. So as a way to ration my adrenaline reserves and to eliminate confusion, I’m thinking of having Sean call me Kitty Carlisle instead.