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  • No One Drops In For Coffee Anymore

    February 22, 2010

    As I was driving home from dropping Sean off at school the other day, I noticed the long line of cars wrapped around Starbucks and the crowded parking lot and I got to thinking how no one drops by for coffee anymore.  It seems that everyone goes to Starbucks instead.

    Friends dropping in for coffee is all but a remnant of another era and I think that is kind of a shame that we aren’t available for spontaneous interaction anymore, that we don’t open our homes for that sort thing, that we are just too busy or that we don’t think our homes perfect enough or clean enough or whatever enough.

    As I have mentioned here before, my parents live in the same house they bought in 1956.  In that time, they have served approximately 23,436 cups of coffee to neighbors, wayfarers, odd-ball relatives and the occasional long-lost friend who just dropped in.  My parent’s coffee pot has been on for 54 years.

    My parent’s kitchen defies everything Southern Living tells us we need to create a warm and welcoming space for visitors.  Their home is not big and bright and you certainly will not find anything new or matching or from Pottery Barn there.  Their kitchen would make Martha Stewart cry.

    The avocado green paneling is circa 1972. The pattern on the linoleum floor is all but worn off and slick from the constant ironing of the rolling chairs. (Aside:  I’ve always thought that chairs with rollers were an interesting choice for a kitchen so small you can reach anything without having to get out of your chair.  And in a 100-year-old house that has settled substantially, rolling chairs on slick linoleum means you could potentially roll out the back door if you are not paying attention.)

    The refrigerator is covered in pictures of grandchildren and great grandchildren and postcards and magnets with wise sayings.  The table is always so cluttered that you have to scooch books and puzzles and prescription bottles aside just so you might carve out four square inches of real estate to set your cup down.  The trick is scooching it all en masse, like a tectonic plate, to just the correct degree, so that whatever is on the other end of the table doesn’t fall off like California into the Pacific.

    The 45-year-old Melmac coffee cups don’t match, nor do any of the not-silverware.

    My mother does not serve fancy or flavored coffee — it’s Folgers or whatever is on sale and if you want cream, it’s store brand Coffeemate.

    Their kitchen is teeny tiny and cramped and cluttered and woefully out of date.  It’s not fancy or comfortable and would not pass the white glove test.

    Nonetheless, people want to go there and hang out for a time and chat,  and they have for more than half a century.  Something there draws ‘em in and it ain’t the kitchen or the coffee.

    Must be the conversation and the company.

    Shorty

    June 13, 2008

    I recently received an email offering me samples of Rubik’s Revolution, an electronic version of the Rubik’s Cube as well as an electronic pocket-sized version of the popular game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? I told them not to send the Rubick’s Cube because I am in still in therapy from when it came out the first time in the 80s.  Between the Rubiks Cube and Pac Man, the 80s were really stressful for me.  I am not wired to do those kinds of things.

    But! I love the game show Jeopardy! and so I figured I would like the Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? game. And I do, even though I am not.  I’m not even smarter than my 4-year-old most of the time.

    If you think you would like to have one of these little gadgets and have a US mailing address, leave a comment on this post before midnight on Sunday, telling me your dad’s first name (or your favorite dad-type person) and some fun factoid about him.  I’ll randomly select a winner or just whomever I like the best.  KIDDING! I’m just messin’ with y’all.  Monday I will email the winner.

    I’ll go first.

    My dad’s name is Ed, but anyone who really knows him calls him Shorty.  When I was growing up, the family across the street had a scruffy little dog named Shorty and sometimes that would get confusing when they opened the screen door and hollered for the dog to come home. Oh, and my dad makes the best boiled hotdog ever. I should know. He made me one for lunch every single day the year I went to kindergarten.  Every. Day.

    Happy Father’s Day everyone!

    * * * *

    Edited to add:  I am loving your comments y’all – it just blesses me to read this treasure trove of tiny stories. If you have a blog, or even if you don’t, I hope you will consider expanding your comment into an essay or short story for future generations.

    * * * *

    And the winner is….. Natalie!  Natalie, look for an email from me with further instructions on how to claim your fabulous prize!

    A Decision

    April 28, 2008

    I am fascinated by stories of people who manage to survive in the most extreme and unimaginable conditions.  When I hear those stories, I wonder what it is in them that keep them hanging on and I wonder if I have it in me.

     

    Sometimes, when I imagine that I’ve accidentally fallen off a cruise ship, I don’t really see myself treading water for days at a time.  If faced with bobbing up and down in freezing waters, I would probably take the easy way out and allow myself to slip away.  I would be happy to move along to the next life sooner rather than later as opposed to suffering for any extended period of time.  I am not afraid of what lies beyond.  I know where I am going when this life is over.

     

    On the other hand, I really like my life and am in no hurry to leave it all behind.

     

    About 14 years ago, I was in danger of drowning, not in an ocean but in my own sorrow.  Like a person lost at sea, I felt hopeless – without hope, not one ray of sunshine could I find.  I couldn’t see that life would ever be good again.  I started thinking that maybe it would just be easier to slip under the waters, to yield to the darkness.  All the while everyone was saying, “You are amazing!  You are so strong!”  I didn’t understand that.  How could they not see how desperate I was?

     

    During that time, my dad came out to Texas to hang out with me.  Unlike everyone else, maybe he sensed that I wasn’t holding it together as well as it appeared from the outside because one day he sat me down and told me about a story he had read about a girl who was lost in a great forest.  He said that every day she would climb the tallest tree she could find and she would shout at the top of her lungs, “I am a survivor! I will survive!”  And then she would listen for her own voice echoing back, “I will survive I will survive I will survive…”   Eventually she was rescued or found her way out of the forest, I don’t recall.

     

    I don’t know if my dad really read that story or if he just made it up on the spot, but on that day, I became the girl who climbed a tree every day, shook her fist at the world and shouted, “I will survive!”  On that day and in that moment, I made a decision to carry on, to go on and live and to live well.

     

    A decision — the difference between life and death. That is the certain something that survivors have in common. 

    Fear And Loathing With A Dash Of Anger

    October 23, 2007

    When my dad retired about 15 years ago, along with wood crafting and front porch sitting, he took up metal detecting.  It’s been a great way for him to be out and about, get some exercise and occasionally bring home a treasure or two. 

    He keeps a tally of his findings and on average he digs up a couple of hundred dollars in loose change every year.  He also digs up a shoebox full of Hot Wheels cars which he cleans up and gives away to grandkids or neighborhood kids or any other kid he happens to come across.

    One morning last week, the weather was still nice so Dad decided he would go metal detecting one last time before it gets too cold.

    He was walking in a familiar and well travelled area, near a school and across from a church, when he noticed a teenage boy walking towards him.  For whatever reason, he got a bad vibe and decided to head for his car. The kid came up to my dad and asked him for some money. My dad said “no” and kept walking. The kid grabbed at him.  My dad swung his metal detector and whacked him good upside the head, hard enough that it busted a chunk off the base.  My dad lost his balance and fell backwards to the ground. At that point, the criminal got up, pointed a gun at my dad and demanded his wallet.  Of course my dad handed it over. The kid took the cash, all of $21, threw the wallet down and ran off.

    Since I found out about this incident, I have been sick to my stomach thinking of what could have happened. And I have also been thanking God over and over and over for what didn’t happen.

    My dad twisted his back when he fell, but other than that he is no worse for the wear. He is 76 years old and for all intents and purposes he kicked that kid’s ass and I take pleasure in that.  A lot of pleasure.

    I suppose I should be praying for that kid, that he will turn from his evil ways, but what I really find in my heart right now is the desire that he rot in hell.  When you mess with my kid or my parents all bets are off.

    I am a Christian, just not a very good one.

    The Tradition Continues

    June 16, 2007

    Photo Temporarily Unavailable

    On our recent visit to Illinois, Sean got a lesson from Papa Ed in the fine art of goofing off. Of course, he’ll never be as skilled at it as I am, but I have studied under the master for 47 years. And it has served me well.

    Happy Father’s Day Daddy. Thanks for holding the nail while I learned to hammer.