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  • Go! Laugh!

    March 6, 2007

    I love a funny story and Big Mama has got one today. A funny funny story involving a large pregnant lady (is there any other kind?) in search of tan, a chain link fence and a binkini. Go! Laugh! Now!

    Best of Antique Mommy Comments

    December 28, 2006

    Yay for you, my marvefabuwonderlicious readers! You made me laugh every day this year with your funny, thoughtful, kind and insightful comments. And so, to solute you and the year that was 2006, I present to you the best of your comments, taken totally out of context!

    * * *

    Pammer – I will NEVER put bologna on a pizza and try to pass it off as pepperoni. Sorry, mom.

    SJ – Every great once in a while you might meet other children who you approve of. But there does seem to be an extraordinary amount of nose-pickers out there.

    M&Co – You know, AM, I’m not sure Dom Perigon and Margaritas actually count as a FOOD.

    Gwen – Chicken wipes are used to clean up baby chicken bottoms. Did you not know that?

    SJ – When Mark worked for a smaller airline years ago, he used to fly into Mexico. He and the crew were out to dinner one night and Mark tried to order some kind of cheese dip. He added an extra syllable in there somewhere and what he said was “cheese of the ass.” I suspect they might still be laughing at him in Mexico.

    Pieces – You make me want to inhale on my boy. Which is risky business as he is heading into puberty!

    Shannon – YES! I had me some fat-free shag carpet for lunch today. Yum.

    Veronica Mitchell – I once sliced a 1/4 inch deep into my hand trying to open a container of cole slaw at KFC. Those plastic lids are sharp. And cole slaw does not not taste good with blood in it.

    Veronica Mitchell – And when JellyBean gets upsettingly stubborn, I comfort myself with the idea that if we are ever taken over by a totalitarian regime, she will lead the resistance.

    Kelly Jeanie – You’d better hope he doesn’t figure out the microwave. Start watching your back if he does.

    Nettie – If He can turn water into wine, I’m sure M&M’s won’t be a problem.

    Emi – If you really want to be noticed, fall down face first in the Costco parking lot. It really works.

    Sweatpants Mom – Will this method work on grown men, in getting them to ask for directions when lost? Or will they just continue to poop in their pants?

    Kristin – I’ve worn a bucket on my head… but I don’t think a bike was involved and I certainly wasn’t looking as winsome!

    Blog Antagonist – I need a monogram, but I’ve been procreating because I don’t like doctors.

    Veronica Mitchell – Poor kid. . And by that I mean you. It’s like trying to appease a hungry jackal. With a mood disorder. And a megaphone.

    Meredith – May your ice cubes stay put and shoes stay on in the tomorrows to come

    Chilihead – Get out of my head!

    Karla – I’m a boxless wonder myself!

    Heather – …you should publish one of those “read on the toilet” books

    Anne Glamore – If I didn’t lie, I’d have nothing to blog about.

    Mommy Dearest – I hide bags of gummy bears in my closet

    Shalee – Okay, this kinda makes me want to be Catholic.

    Robbin – I figure I can start out by setting his expectations low. Less to disappoint later.

    Jeana- The first paragraph literally made me hoot. Having never hooted before it was somewhat surprising, but I hope to do it again in the near future.

    Big Mama – It’s because once you reach your mid-80’s, you’re fully aware of what makes a good party

    EDJ – My friend Heather is weird like you.

    Kim – I love tuna!!

    Chilihead (in her typically warm and fuzzy way) – And I’d make wassail or buttered rum and not put the damn tree up.

    Big Mama – And nothing usually makes me want a drink more than sitting through the 3 year old musical presentations…at least you looked festive.

    Birdiemom – Insanity runs in some families…. In mine it practically gallops!

    Blog Antagonist – Now, if I could just get them to wipe, I would be a happy woman.

    Happy New Year Y’all!

    ~ Antique Mommy