Makes Me Sigh, Reruns and Leftovers

The Lonely Skeleton

When I was growing up I loved and looked forward to Halloween. My brothers and I and the forty or so kids who lived in the neighborhood would start talking about what we would be for Halloween shortly after school started in September. The years that Halloween fell on a Saturday or Sunday, we would spend the entire day scavenging for and cobbling together a costume. The ghosts in our neighborhood wore sheets with paint splotches the color of their living room. No one had a “store boughten” costume. Unthinkable. Long before the sun would set, four…

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Reruns and Leftovers

Not Just Because He Wears A Napkin On His Head

I am out of town today and tomorrow, so today it’s leftovers! This post was originally published in March of 2007. * * * * * The prevailing assumption in our culture is that parents can’t wait for their children to grow up and leave home. And yes, there have been a few days when I would have traded Sean for a margarita and a plate of nachos. But not many. At least not too many. Maybe most people do feel that way, but I don’t. Maybe because I waited so long and so late in…

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Family Stories, Reruns and Leftovers

Hester

This month, my maternal grandmother would have been 109 years old.  She died in 1938 when my mother was only 4-years old, about the same age my son Sean is now .  In honor of her birthday, I am re-posting this essay I wrote about her in August of 2006. * * * * * The day was November 7, 1938. She had turned 39 in August and was in her twelfth year of marriage to an uneducated but hard working farmer who adored her. It was never clear if she really loved him or if at the…

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Reruns and Leftovers

Here’s Your Baby Ma’am. Welcome To Adulthood

The years I lobbied to be treated as an adult have blown up in my face. ~ Lisa Simpson I managed to put off adulthood until my mid-40s. Once I was handed that precious bundle of screaming, puking, pooping responsibility joy, my carefree protracted childhood lonely meaningless life came to an end. Adulthood blew up in my face in one big gush of baby blue confetti. And I’ve never been the same since. The first time that Sean looked up at me with those unfocused drunken eyes of infancy, the weight of the responsibility for his…

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Reruns and Leftovers, Tuna

More Millie

Your last helping of Tuna for the week.  Have a great weekend y’all! * * * * * Millie Conway In our family, we celebrate Easter and our risen Lord as we do any other holy day – by racing home from church and eating entirely too much. And then complaining about how full we are as we waddle off to check out the dessert table. And after all that eating, nothing much else can be done except to sit around the table and talk trash before going back for another piece of pie. When my mother-in-law…

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Reruns and Leftovers

Thursday Blue Plate Special: Leftover Tuna

Keeping Time in Tuna  I never hate Wal-Mart more than when I am in downtown Tuna. Across the country, small town Main Street has been decimated by the big hairy ape that is Wal-Mart and Tuna is no different. The old historic buildings that line Main Street, that once teemed with the life blood of the town — the Mom and Pop businesses — now stand as a silent, empty and decaying tribute to capitalism at it’s best, or worst, depending upon your point of view. One thing I really like about doing business on Main Street…

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Reruns and Leftovers

How To Be A Rock Star In Tuna

I am getting ready for a conference that I will be attending in beautiful North Carolina this weekend where I’m looking forward to seeing friends I’ve actually met and many more friends that I haven’t actually met. And I have no idea where my suitcase is or what to put in it.  So then, for the rest of this week, it’s left over Tuna. Yummy. * * * * * If you ever find yourself in Texas, and you’re really hungry and you want good food and plenty of it, what you do is drive to the nearest…

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Aunt Jean, Reruns and Leftovers

Limit Two Protocol

When I was at my Aunt Jean’s house a while back, I noticed that while she didn’t keep canned goods in the bathroom, she did have a stash of probably 25 or 30 giant Snickers bars. In the kitchen that is, not the bathroom. And it wasn’t even Halloween. It was surprising to see so many candy bars because you never see her eat anything like that. Aunt Jean is tall and thin and regal and dignified and not given to self-indulgence. When I asked her about them, she said that when she was growing up,…

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Reruns and Leftovers

More Visa Adventures

Sadly, what you are about to read is a true story. But it keeps Antique Daddy employed and Antique Mommy in new shoes. The other day as I was paying bills, I noticed that I had a late fee of $15 on one of my credit card statements. $15. That presented a dilemma: Is it better to pay the $15 and go on my merry way figuring I’d blow $15 somewhere along the way sooner or later? Or should I stand on principal and sacrifice what little sanity and free time I had on that particular…

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Reruns and Leftovers

In The South, You Can Wear A Crayon On Your Head Or Color With One

Anyway, I was over at the Apathy Lounge where I ran into my friend and the proprieter, the lovely Mizz Beaverhausen who was celebrating the 105th birthday of Crayola Color Crayons. And I was reminded of two things. No, make that three. I was reminded of how much I love crayons. I was reminded of a post I wrote a few years ago about crayons and I was reminded that I have nothing for tomorrow. So here ya go, an old post about crayons. * * * * Broken Crayons I like my crayons broken. They are better that way.…

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