Christmas, Parenting Gone Awry, Silliness

Carry On Santa

So that y’all may go on with your holidays, I shall reveal to you the secrets of the House of Antique as it relates to obscure toy requests: 1) A machine gun.  Sean wants the Nerf machine gun but it is $40 and we already have three other Nerf guns.  He will get the $15 Walmart no-name obnoxious noise making variety which I will deeply regret two minutes seconds after it is loosed from its packaging. After purchasing a number of Tonka obnoxious-noise-making Trucks and an Alvin the Chipmunk who sings Up On The Rooftop every…

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Christmas, Silliness

The Mushinggun

One year it was the Chicken Wipes. The next year it was the Peemo Boat. This year, as you can see from the letter he typed up on his computer, Sean wants a mushinggun and a liykit, among other things. One point for each correct answer.

Silliness

Hair

The other day, I had had enough of my hair. I have a lot of it and none of it good. Now I know that I won’t get much sympathy from many of you for having more than my fair share of hair, but with every blessing comes a burden. And the burden of having so much hair, besides that it is hot,  is that blow drying it requires time and skill that I do not possess.  If I could take back all the hours I’ve spent blow drying my hair, I could learn another language,…

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Always Real, Silliness, Wal-Mart

Crossing Over

I am a Walmart shopper, this I freely admit. I did not start out being a Walmart shopper, it just sorta happened to me, sort of in the same way I got pregnant — I have no idea when it happened,  I didn’t plan for it to happen, it just did. One day I wasn’t and then one day I was.  And I still kind of can’t believe it. Prior to having a child, I had never been in a Walmart that I can recall.  I was a boutique grocery store shopper. I did not buy…

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Silliness, Snips And Snails

Mouse and Harvest Moon

By ‘The Artist Currently Known As Sean’ In this composition, the artist addresses the tension of post-modern life. Here, he uses loose strokes to invoke a sense of chaotic energy that falsely reads as a peaceful night sky, perhaps a reference to the uncertain economic conditions that are the backdrop to everyday life. The artist creates a sense of orderliness out of the chaos by containing it in fractionalized spaces which likely symbolizes the sort of compartmentalization of life spaces – dark and light, public and private, internal and external, on-line and off-line. The deliberate use…

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Parenting Gone Awry, Silliness

Flailing Not Failing

Sean was born six weeks early and spent the first week of his life in the NICU.  He was teeny tiny, but was never in any danger, other than being sent home to live with two clueless people. Before we left the hospital, the nurse showed me the proper way to wrap my baby in a blanket. She stressed the importance of keeping his arms tucked in tight at all times. She said he was used to be being curled up in the confines of my womb and he would prefer being swaddled.  She said that…

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School, Silliness

Intro To Pumpkinology 101

Last week Sean’s kindergarten teacher asked me if I’d be willing to come up to the school and lead a couple of 15-20 minute classes on pumpkins. I know my way around a pumpkin and it sounded like fun, so I said sure, why not. When I arrived at the school,  the teacher gave me a 10-second overview of the lesson plan, three pumpkins and a knife. Then she blindfolded me, spun me around three times and pushed me towards my classroom. The lesson plan was this:  She would send three or four children at a…

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Silliness

How Team Sports Are Like Working In An Office

In the past few years Sean has played on a couple of sports teams. He played baseball for a couple of seasons and now he’s playing soccer. What I have observed in watching Sean play soccer and baseball is that team sports are the precursor to working in an office.  You’ve got the same cast of characters, only in miniature.  Basically the nose picker and whiner and the kid who just lies down in the outfield grow up to get jobs.  So we make Sean play sports, not for the exercise, but to develop his interpersonal…

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Silliness

I Spy With My Little Eye, Crazy Things In My Car

Some of us gals who attended She Speaks last summer decided that a fun way to keep up with one another would be to link up and do a Crazy Things themed post every so often.  And today is our first one.  (I thought) Today’s theme is (was) about the crazy things you find your car. (Turns out not. Just crazy wherever you find it. Oh well.) I didn’t even have to look under the seat to find something crazy. And frankly, I’m glad. My fear is that somewhere in the deep dark unexplored depths of…

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