Silliness

My Stupid Memoir

I don’t know who Mylie Cyrus is. Why would I? I’m not a ten-year-old girl nor do I have one living in my house.  What I know about her, was thrust upon me by my home page browser which recently announced (cue trumpets) – she is writing her memoirs.     I leaned into the computer screen to get a closer look at this Mylie person.  It turns out that she is 15.  I’m sure she’s a remarkable young lady and all having worked so hard at being born to someone semi-famous, but really, what memories…

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Photography & Photoshop, Silliness

The Fishing Trip

PHOTOS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE Sean:  Ho dee doh dee doh! I’m going fishing! Sean:  Oh crud. Dogs. No one said there would be dogs. Jerold, the dumbest dog on the earth and No Name, the second dumbest dog on the earth: “Duh, hey… whatcha got in that lunch box? Snausages?” Sean: Aaaaaah! Dogs: Snausages? Duh hey come back! Sean: Oh crud, they’re gaining on me! Dogs:  SNAUSAGES!! Sean: Aaaaaaah! Dogs:  Duh, hey, wait up! I’m hungry! Sean: Aaaaaaah! Sean:  Aaaaah! * * * * * I would have stopped to comfort him and run off Dumb and…

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Antique Junk Drawer, Silliness

The New Fruitcake

Photo Temporarily Unavailable Sean and I were shopping in Sam’s the other day when we spotted this.  As I looked at the wall of Yard-O-Beef, I imagined the Hillshire marketing folks sitting around a conference table at 4am, bleary eyed, shirts untucked, everyone needing a shave and shower when someone said, “Why not call it Yard-O-Beef?” And then everyone said, “Great! That’s a wrap. Let’s go home!” And really, who wouldn’t want to find a Yard-O-Beef under the tree on Christmas morning? Yard-O-Beef! The new fruitcake! What’s the most unusual Christmas gift you’ve ever received?

Silliness

Balloon Watch ’07

Yesterday I noticed that the balloon was gone! I was so excited because my life is that dull. I checked the floor for its rubbery orange remains. I combed through the entire tree like a monkey grooming another monkey for ticks. I checked under the tree, but no balloon.  Where did it go? Did some extremely tall person break in and steal my balloon? And then I looked up and saw that it had merely moved to the other side of the room, a new place from which to taunt and torment me. In its current location I must look at…

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Silliness, Wal-Mart

Penance: Three Hail Mary’s And A Trip To Wal-Mart

The other night I dreamed that I died and went to heaven and when I met Jesus at the gate he said, “Remember that time you busted my head off?  Well take this.”  And then I was cast into hell, which was actually Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon. And remember that part in the Bible that says if your eye causes you to sin that you should gouge it out and if the left hand causes the right to sin, then you should cut if off?  Well apparently my right hand was feeling really repentant about…

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Silliness

A Fetching Young Man

Photo Temporarily Unavailable One of the many benefits of having a 4-year-old about the house is that you can easily convince them that going outside to fetch the newspaper in the freezing cold is fun!  Later I’m going to show him how the Swiffer works!

Silliness

Santa Needs An Intervention

Photo Temporarily Unavailable Somewhere over Dallas, Santa made the unfortunate decision to stop by the drive-through liquor store.

Antique Junk Drawer, Silliness, Wivian

Otherwise Occupied

In case you were wondering who my company was yesterday, it’s my mommy.  She’s still here.  Sometimes I like to be coy.  The upside to that is that she is occupying my child which means I can do other things, like go get my teeth cleaned – just a little hobby of mine, something I like to do in my spare time. The downside to that is she can’t vote for me which means I’ll probably win this prize. So, maybe you could get your mother to vote for me? (That’s once every 24-hours through November 8th!…

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Silliness

The Chocolatey Will Of God

True story. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk thinking about how much I would enjoy some chocolate and in keeping with my promise to myself to not buy any Halloween candy until at least the 29th, I had none in my house.  And I was bemoaning that fact.  About that time, the doorbell rings and it’s a cute little Catholic school girl with pigtails selling chocolate bars for $2 each.  Earlier in the day, I had found $2 exactly in a purse that I hadn’t carried for a while and the $2 was sitting on my desk. You don’t…

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