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	<title>Antique Mommy &#187; Use Your Words</title>
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		<title>How To Market Pantyhose</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2011/01/27/how-to-market-pantyhose/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2011/01/27/how-to-market-pantyhose/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Jan 2011 11:55:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mildly Amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Antique Mommy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[control-top tights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[L'Eggs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pantyhose]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/?p=8830</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So a Sunday or two back, because it was cold, I pulled on a pair of tights to wear with a wool skirt.  I normally wear pants to church when it’s cold.  And by pants I mean slacks, not jeans.  I am not a wear-jeans-to-church kind of gal, but if you are that’s okay, not [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>22</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mr. Malaprops</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2008/05/22/mr-malaprops/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2008/05/22/mr-malaprops/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 May 2008 05:15:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Antique Embarrassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Antique Mommy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[malapropisms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/?p=1025</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sometimes, in a fit of motherly passion, I&#8221;ll scoop Sean up and smother him with kisses, telling him he&#8217;s so cute that I can&#8217;t stand it.  And then he squiggles and wiggles out of my arms and runs off, laughing and yelling &#8220;Yucky!&#8221; Last week, we were at the grocery store, and as we were checking out, he was [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>39</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Kicked Out</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/12/09/12-08-07/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/12/09/12-08-07/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 09 Dec 2007 11:16:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/12/08/12-08-07/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Earlier in the week, Sean and I were in Target.  He was being loud.  Happy loud, but loud.  Happy loud is annoying, but not nearly annoying as Unhappy Loud. Still, it was LOUD. I told him that he needed to pipe down so that we didn’t get kicked out of the store. “Kicked out?” he asked. [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>17</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The New Amen</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/11/the-new-amen/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/11/the-new-amen/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:19:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/11/the-new-amen/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Three-year-old ears hear everything. Every. Thing. They are omnipotent little creatures. No matter how preoccupied you may think they are with your contrived distractions, they are listening and taking in every word, mentally crouching like a hungry tiger, waiting to pounce at just the right opportunity to gobble up your tender juicy pride. Sunday morning [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>33</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Flip Flops</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/10/flip-flops/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/10/flip-flops/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jul 2007 12:23:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/07/10/flip-flops/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When Sean was just a little guy, maybe around 18-months-old, we were sitting on the floor by the door that looks out into our back yard, watching the squirrels play hide and seek and flit and zip around. One squirrel had regrettably decided to bury an acorn in a fire ant pile. When he discovered [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>94</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What I Said</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/28/what-i-said/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/28/what-i-said/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:00:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Antique Daddy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[What I said:  Done with the milk? What I meant:  Would you pleeeez not leave the milk out? What I wanted to say:  Stop leaving the damn milk out. What I said:  I need to go to the store (sigh). What I meant:  I have to defrost or chop something for dinner and I don’t feel [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/28/what-i-said/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>43</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Antique Carnivore</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/27/antique-carnivore/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/27/antique-carnivore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Jun 2007 05:01:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mildly Amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Parenting Gone Awry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/27/antique-carnivore/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sean has never been much of an eater, but when he was around 18-months old eating stopped almost entirely.  Somedays we are lucky to get five calories in him.  We try not to worry about it because watching us nervously wring our hands at the dinner table has not increased his appetite.  Wise people say when he&#8217;s hungry he [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/06/27/antique-carnivore/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>33</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>I&#8217;m The Poodiest</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/05/24/im-the-poodiest/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/05/24/im-the-poodiest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 May 2007 04:18:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mildly Amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sometimes Sweet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/05/24/im-the-poodiest/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[School is out for the summer and the days are getting longer. Boy oh boy are the days getting longer. Being the sole teacher/disciplinarian/guardian/playmate/muse of a three-year-old boy from sun up to sun down has given me a greater appreciation for Sean&#8217;s teachers &#8212; even though they slighted him missed the opportunity to feature him [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/05/24/im-the-poodiest/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>43</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Scorpion Bits</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/19/scorpion-bits/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/19/scorpion-bits/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Apr 2007 11:26:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mildly Amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outsmarted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/19/scorpion-bits/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Mommy I&#8217;m pretending this scorpion bitted me,&#8221; Sean says from the back seat. I look in my rear view mirror to see him stretch a sticky rubbery scorpion the length of his reach. &#8220;No, Sean,&#8221; I correct him, &#8220;I&#8217;m pretending this scorpion BIT me &#8212; not bitted.&#8221; &#8220;This scorpion bitted you too?!&#8221; Oh never mind.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/19/scorpion-bits/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>12</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Eat Taters Hot</title>
		<link>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/11/eat-taters-hot/</link>
		<comments>http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/11/eat-taters-hot/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Apr 2007 10:12:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Antique Mommy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Mildly Amusing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Outsmarted]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Use Your Words]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://antiquemommy.com/2007/04/11/eat-taters-hot/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week we had a lot of rain here in north Texas. A lot. Rain is pretty much always needed and wanted here, at least by grownups. Sean, on the other hand, was missing the sun. He stood at the door to the backyard asking, “Where did the sun go? Is it ever going to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>47</slash:comments>
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